Romance is sexy. It creates a mood that heightens anticipation and an environment that sets aside normal daily concerns and obsessions.
Done well, Romance is not a single item such as a bouquet of flowers with an attached suggestion of making love. Nor is it a few chosen words. Guys especially need help with this. But women are not immune to the pressures and shortcuts that have become the norm.
Everyday Romance
Two of the most important elements of romance are as foreign to everyday life as they are necessary to the joy of mating. First, let's deal with Spontaneity.
Spontaneity and playfulness are reflective of the youth and magic that are essential to courtship and romance. While spontaneity can have a certain amount of stress because you don't know what is coming next, it is merely a return to the joy of child-like play.
There is a freedom to embrace and express one's connection to Life. It is in- the- moment pleasure of connecting with another person. Unlike task orientation, there are no expectations and everything seems up for grabs, that is, except the possibility that you are completely loved for who you are.
Spontaneous behavior requires a willingness to let go of cares, especially what another thinks of you. And when two are being playful together it is a living game with few consequences. Letting go of seriousness is serious play therapy, but more importantly, it is the willingness to be in awe of love and your game partner.
Romantic scene 1. A visit to a hideaway. Here there is no need to unplug the phones (unless you brought your mobile), put the little ones to bed, set up a different mood in the bedroom, etc. You do arrive prepared, however. Some sensual delights have been delivered to the room such as a food basket, wine, bread and cheese with some clean and succulent fruits. Chocolate is under the pillow and seasonal flowers are displayed in a matching vase. Nearby restaurants, stunning views, relaxing massage or other physical pleasures are located and scheduled. You have your best clothes, favorite perfumes and a couple new sex toys perhaps. This is time for the two of you to be fully immersed in your love with no reminders of your business or familial obligations. New places to explore are reflected in the location as well as in your mind and your shared moments.
Romantic Scene 2. You don't have the time or other resources to make a clean get-away, but both of you need it. You spread a luscious bedspread over your clean sheeted bed. The children are farmed out and the phones are off. Really off. (The sitter has backup.) Wine is chilled and cheeses, European crusty bread, some olives and fruit sections are all there in the bedroom. Scented candles are flickering and almost swaying to the sensuous music chosen for the occasion. It's just the two of you, your bodies and loving thoughts are all you allow attention. You are prepared for an evening of unhurried intimacy. Tomorrow will be a continuation of this or it doesn't even exist. You have a special gift for the other, with no thought of impressing or competing in value. There are no tasks to think about because you imagine the maid coming in tomorrow morning to clean up. This does not have to be elaborate, only different enough from the daily grind that allows you to relax and relate with the most important person in your life.
